Every one of us has had significant life events that shaped us spiritually, ranging from joyous occasions to devastating experiences. Reflect on how some of the following has changed you.

• Getting married
• Birth of a child
• A child leaving home
• Death of a loved one
• Severe or life debitating illnesses
• Promotions/firings
• Financial setbacks
• Bad decisions
• Broken relationships
• Betrayal

As someone once said, “Life happens!” And when it does, we are shaped by it. How we respond to significant life events determines how they shape us. We do, however, have control over how we are shaped. We may not be able to change the event, but we can change how we are shaped.

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Significant life events fall into two general categories: those we consider “good” events and those we consider “bad.” We are shaped by these events, no matter what kind they are or where we might be in our faith journey. The question is, “Are we intentionally letting God shape us through the event?”

Allowing God to Shape Us During Good Life Events

We are excited when good things happen in our lives. We rejoice when we get married, a child is born, and we get a raise or a promotion. These “good times” are also times to allow God to shape us spiritually. Here is a two-step response that creates an avenue for our spiritual growth when positive things happen in our lives.

1. Realize that everything in your life comes from God.
   He is the author of everything. Everything! The person that you married – God brought them into your life. The job that you have – God has given you the skills to perform. God gave you the finances to purchase the new car or house you just bought. And on and on and on! God provides everything. We are merely stewards that he has entrusted with his provision.
2. Give God the recognition that he deserves.
   I believe that pride is the root of all sin. It can quickly enter our lives when good things happen. Let me give you an example from my life.

My wife and I recently bought a new car. I was savy and went though an online service where you put in the make, model, etc. of the car you are shopping for along with your email, location and how far away you wanted their search to go. They send the infomation to the dealers with which they partner. Within a few minutes (literally) you start getting emails with offers on new cars that match your parameters. I got back an offer from a dealer on the very model we were wanting that was over $4500 below MRSP. Plus, they had a current promotion on excellent financing. We ended up bying the car and I began telling friends and family about the great deal that I brokered. That I brokered. Later, God convicted me with a few facts. Who provided the money for you to buy the car? Who gave you the intellect and know how to search on finding the best deal? Etc. Etc. Pride had gotten the best of me.

I am not saying that we should never give ourselves (or others) credit for the good things we accomplish. However, when we boast about ourselves and leave God out, it is actually idolatry, and we have become the idol.

Allowing God to Shape Us During Bad Life Events

We all experience what we would call bad life events. Some have very few, while others have “more than their fair share.” When “life happens” and we experience terrible events, we often ask two questions. The first question is, “Why is this happening?” We can ask that question, but there is really no answer—unless the events are caused by our poor choices.

The second question is, “What does God want me to learn from this?” This, again, is the wrong question. Learning may be a part of what God wants from us, but the better question is, “How does God want to shape me spiritually through this?” Remember that our main goal as Christians is not to learn more about God. It is not living a certain way. It is to become more like Jesus in every aspect of our life – so we can better live out our imago dei (image of God). There are many aspects of Jesus’ life in which we need to become more like him. However, when going through terrible life events, three areas stand out.

1. Faith in the Father
   Jesus had total faith in the Father. He knew the mission given to him and that, in the end (His death on the cross), he would suffer greatly – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Yet, he had faith in the Father. In the Garden, he prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42 CSB), knowing that Father’s will was best. When we go through terrible times, we most likely will not understand the why, but we can put complete faith in the Father that it is best for reasons only known to him.
2. Experiencing love from the Father
   God loves us with an incomprehensible love. Just because we are going through something terrible does not mean that he has stopped loving us. That cannot and will not ever happen! Because we are going through tough times does not mean God loves us less. Go ahead and cry, wail, lament, and grieve, but cling to the words of Romans 8:38-39 – “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
3. Giving glory to the Father
   In John 12, Jesus shares that he is going to die. The very thought of his upcoming death on the cross saddened him. He prays aloud to the Father, “Now my soul is troubled. What should I say-Father, save me from this hour? But that is why I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven: “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again” (John 12:27-28 CSB). When we go through tough times, we should continue glorifying God. Not necessarily for what we are going through but for all the other blessings he has given us.

Jesus suffered in every way that we might suffer – physically, as he died a horrible death on the cross; emotionally, as he was misunderstood and even betrayed by one of his disciples; and spiritually, as he bore the sins of the entire world as he died on the cross. During all of his suffering, he had total faith in the Father, leaned upon the Father’s love, and gave glory to the Father. When we go through tough times, we can grow to be more like him when we do the same.